so i'm homesick and lonely and approaching a major crossroads in my short life.
i know i'm better than this shitty weepy version of myself waiting by my cellphone and computer. staying in bed and feeling sorry for myself, tossing and turning in the what ifs of my comforter. but why do i allow myself to be this way?
am i holding me back? am i playing vulnerable so i downplay my strength?
it makes me think of that quote, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. i know i'm holding back, but for whom or for what, and why the fuck why?
people do not lack strength. they lack will (victor hugo).
well dammit. here's the will to stop being such a pussy and to get my proverbial ass the fuck up off the floor and wipe my stupid tears away and get on with my life. i will not be controlled by the voids in my life. i'll work hard to fill them.
Yul Brenner: Look in the mirror, and tell me what you see!
Junior Bevill: I see Junior.
Yul Brenner: You see Junior? Well, let me tell you what I see. I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don't take no crap off of nobody!
